I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Henry David Thoreau
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Three days ago, I came back from a trip to the town of Crested Butte. I was planning to stay with my girlfriend for the next night, and while her family was still at the house we decided to hike up to the caves near the house and spread her dad's ashes. The caves are over a few hills (tall ones, mind you) and off of the mountain trail and a mile or so away from her house. Because I didn't have time to change my shoes, I was wearing flip-flops until I got back. Plus, I had just hiked 16 miles up Crested Butte and did some bouldering the day or so beforehand. Before that, I climbed on the Sand Dunes and walked another 6 miles-ish in the last four days. Needless to say, I was tired.
We got up to the top of a hill and left the trail, going toward the large rocks that my girlfriend said were the caves. We headed downhill for a bit until we got to the base of the rocks. By that time, I was warm and my muscles hurt a lot from the days before, and, overall, I wasn't doing to great. So while the others hiked up to the caves, I decided to turn back.
I had never once been up to that area, but I figured that if I went uphill enough, following my memory, I would be able to find the trail again. I started up the hill, stopping quite often because I was so tired, and began to realize that nothing around me looked familiar. I couldn't see any of our previous tracks and there was no sign of a trail anywhere nearby. I looked back to the caves, trying to remember at what angle I saw them from the trail, and started back up the hill to both see the rocks a little better and to get a better sense of direction.
As soon as I got to what looked to be the top of a hill, there was still more hill and more unfamiliar ground. I had started to get worried a while back, and at this point I knew that I couldn't turn back and find them again, and I began to get even more worried and a bit scared. My legs hurt, my shoes weren't meant to hike up hills, I kept slipping on the loose dirt and I couldn't find a way up without getting exhausted easily. One of the times that I sat down to rest, I looked out across the hill toward the caves, looked all around me, seeing unfriendly terrain everywhere, and, my senses too tired not to, I started to cry.
As I caught my breath again, I looked up the hill and saw a trashcan. Around the trashcan, the trees had been spray painted with blue paint and it seemed like a road was nearby. I regained my energy and willingness to get up and I got myself up the hill very slowly, ending up on the side of an asphalt road. I sat down again and checked around me.
In front of me, I could see a very large house built on the very top of yet another hill, with a dirt road leading up to it. To my right and left, the road continued farther than I could see. I sat there for what seemed like a long time, trying to decide which way to go. I was desperate to know which way to go to get back to my girlfriend's house, and in the confusion I almost started to cry again.
Instead, I got up and picked a direction and started walking. I debated nervously while I walked whether or not I should go up to the house. I stopped occasionally to look back at it, but was too scared and too tired to make the trek just to risk no one being home--or even a murderer or a rapist, which is what my mind went to first, of course. So I kept walking reluctantly.
I felt alone and scared, and dusk was starting to set, and mosquitos--the most hated thing in the world--were buzzing around me. I'd lost everyone in the woods, I had no cell phone, I didn't know where I was or how to get back, and I knew that I couldn't go much farther without stopping from exhaustion. I sat down and I wailed. I was partly crying to see if it would get anyone's attention, and partly because, by then, I was terrified. My wails weren't doing anything and I resigned myself and my ego, and I began to scream for help. The sound ripped out of my throat and hurt my ears. I can't count how many times I yelled, but I remember very vividly how terrified I felt and how piercing the cries were in my head.
I sat on the side of the road like that for a long while, hoping desperately that someone would hear my echoing screams, but I never heard any reply. At this point, there was no doubt that the house on the hill was vacant. But after my mind and body had quieted somewhat, I began to hear cars. New hope spurred me to my feet and I started to walk down the road again. I kept hearing cars coming, but none of them were on my road. I started to wonder where this road led to--if it even led to the main road and how long it would take to get down the winding asphalt. Once again, I sat down to catch my breath, hardly choking back my sobs again, seeing as they did no good. I heard another car nearby and I forced myself up, trying to be the "big girl" that I knew would get me home. I took three steps before I collapsed to my hands and knees, feeling my stomach try to come up through my throat.
I stayed in that position until my breath returned and I again heard more cars pass by. I turned my head toward where I heard the sound (which was down a steep hill from where I was) and I saw what seemed to be a river at first, but kept looking at it until I saw the blue streak of a car pass by.
Instantly, I made my way to the top of the hill and looked down, trying to find a decent path down. Seeing none, I scooted to the edge and slid down about ten feet or so, my arms and legs catching on branches and rocks on the way down. I saw another two or three cars pass by and skidded down the rest of the way, scraping up my ankles and arms as I did. I was wearing full-length jeans, so my legs didn't get scarred up as well.
I got to the bottom of the hill and stood on the side of the road. The last car that I heard had passed by just as I had reached the bottom of the hill and I'd missed it. I walked across the road, hoping that there were more cars coming--after all, it was on a mountain and it was getting late and dark, and no one would want to be driving then. Soon enough, though, one car passed by me. I waved my hands desperately for them to stop, but they passed me and I had to keep walking. Soon after that car disappeared around the bend, another two cars appeared and I was able to flag down the first one.
I went over to their open window and told them how I had gotten lost. I assumed that it was a mother of about 50 or 60 and her son of 20 or 30 in the car, and they were very kind to me. I asked them where I was in comparison to the crossroad a couple miles from my girlfriend's house (the only road that I knew the name of on the mountain). They said that I was pretty far from there and said that they would drive me there. They looked safe enough and I got in the back of their car. I sat there, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart and breathe slowly. My arm burned and my whole body was covered in dirt and pine-needles. The car turned around and the two talked to me steadily, telling me to take deep breaths and that it was okay now and that I did the smartest thing that I could.
When we rounded the corner about 200 feet away, I saw my girlfriend's house and I told them that we'd just passed it. They stopped the car and turned around again, pulling up just near the backyard. Needless to say, I felt somewhat embarrassed making them turn around in a circle when I could have simply walked the rest of the way. I thanked them and apologized profusely and they said goodbye and told me to stay safe. I went inside and told the family member who had stayed home during the hike what happened. I remember that I was hysteric--I was laughing as I told the story and my fingers were shaking when I held the phone to my ear to call my girlfriend and tell her that I was fine.
I'm still terrified of going hiking with or without someone and I can't go any farther than where I can see the house when going to the woods. When my girlfriend was at the house with me the next day, I told her that I needed to feel protected, and she graciously sat with me while I was curled up on the couch, staring somewhat blankly at the coffee table.
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Something I Learned:
1. I can survive if I need to, but I'd rather not have to need to.
2. I love civilization / generous people / trash cans.
....
3. Screw Henry David Thoreau. He may have been brilliant, but screw. him.
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Kthxbye
